"No! He Has No Cancer" - UG

Chandrasekhar Babu and Pratapji Karvat

An anecdote related to Pratapji Karvat.

Among many in Bombay who regularly visited UG , Pratapji remains singularly unique. He never stopped arguing and challenging UG at every juncture. He vehemently defended JK  whenever UG launched his famous tirades on JK.

One morning, many of us regulars arrived at Parekhji's home to discover that the 'hot seat' was empty. UG had gone out visiting someone.

After a while, Pratapji walked in. He looked pale and completely run-down! After he settled down,  someone asked him why was he looking so dull and weak? 

Pratapji shocked everyone, " I have been diagnosed with brain cancer!"  And pulled out his medical papers from his shoulder bag.  

The news was terrible! Everyone was shaken up! Uneasy silence reigned over the room. 

Mahesh Bhat trooped in a little later, found out that UG was out visiting and proceeded to his usual corner. He got busy with his incessant calls and messages. 

At some point,  someone broke the news of Pratapji's 'cancer' to Mahesh. He too was shocked and expressed his disbelief. Pratapji  gave the details of his medical report that had confirmed the malignant growth in the brain. Persistent headaches in the recent past had forced his doctors to order a brain scan. The result - a devastating discovery of brain cancer! Mahesh too was hit by the tragic news and fell completely silent like the rest of us.

At long last, UG trooped in and settled into his ' hot seat' in the main hall.

Mahesh wasted no time,  quickly moved over to Pratapji and dragged him over to UG, " Sir! Doctors are saying that Pratapji has brain cancer, what do you say?",  eagerly and expectantly looking into UG's face! 

Everyone waited with bated breath!

UG took a long look at Pratapji's face, after a pause, uttered his verdict,"NO! HE HAS NO CANCER!" His words carried a ring of finality! 

What happened next was just incredible!

Pratapji still unconvinced, pulled out his report and started explaining to UG about the tumour. But Mahesh Bhat simply got up, "Pratapji ! Did you hear what UG said? You don't have cancer!" and walked away to his corner without even looking back! He got busy once again on his cell phone!

Turned out UG was bang on ! 

The next morning, a beaming Pratapji walked in and  to everyone's relief, joyfully announced that the cancer diagnosis was a goof up by the hospital staff  who inadvertently mixed up his report with that of a real cancer patient! It was a real case of mistaken identity!

For Mahesh Bhat, UG's words, His Master's Voice (HMV) nailed the verdict!  His trust was complete! Pratapji always called Mahesh a Bhakta, a devotee with consummate faith! 

UG, Pratapji & Mahesh Bhatt…

UG, Pratapji & Mahesh Bhat ...

Chandrasekhar Babu and Pratapji Karvat

It was Pratapji Karvat who was instrumental in bringing UG & Mahesh Bhat together. 

In his mid-eighties now, he lives in an old age home in Mumbai with his ageing brother.In fact, Pratapji is associated with Bollywood in many ways. His ‘moment in the sun’ came when he received an award for his script for the blockbuster film, Salman Khan-Aishwarya Roy starter, "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. He received this award in a glittering function in London.

It is to the credit of Pratapji that he refused an offer by director Bhansali to buy him an apartment in Mumbai saying that he was a bachelor and that his needs were minimal! Dressed in a simple pajama-kurta, Pratapji always looked fresh and elegant. His near resemblance to Bal Thackeray, a right-wing politician from Mumbai, sometimes bothered him!

Pratapji is a true intellectual, widely read and well-informed. A voracious reader and a good homeopath, adept at ‘flower remedies ‘. Several people have benefited from his knowledge of alternative medicine. Also a devout ‘I Ching’ reader, his UG reading from the Chinese Oracle had declared that the subject of the reading, UG, as a Superior Person , the Chinese equivalent of a Guru or Master!

Pratapji also dabbled in dowsing or divining and carried a pocket pendulum for this purpose. I once witnessed him using the pendulum and a chart to earmark the exact spot on the chest where UG felt acute sensation, an old symptom of ‘cardio-spasm’ that troubled UG for a long time. UG did concede that Pratapji was right about the troublesome spot!  

Pratapji and Himmat Bhai of Vile Parle (west) were close associates of Osho and knew him very intimately. They were first hand witness to the transformation of Osho from Acharya to Bhagwan. Pratapji sometimes wrote, proof-read Rajneesh's English speeches.Initially, the godman was not very comfortable in English speech making and would take help of Pratapji and others and also insist that they give feedback about his English performance !

Pratapji enjoyed a close friendship with the Bollywood thespian,  Ashok Kumar, brother of legendary singer Kishore Kumar. He often visited the actor in his Chembur home. Ashok Kumar was a good homeopath and enjoyed Pratapji's company. Sometimes he took a ride back from Chembur in Kishore's car. Pratapji was not very comfortable with Kishore , he considered him very intelligent but clever.

Pratapji, the bachelor stayed in Vile Parle ( East ) in an old apartment in those days, it had  no lift. He stayed along with his siblings and his aged mother. UG once visited them, climbing all the four floors to see the old and ailing mother and to assure her that he would take care of her ‘useless’ son and she need not worry about his future! As usual, he was not very easy on Pratapji - he commanded Pratapji to translate his English words into Gujarati for his mother and warned Pratapji not to dilute his words ! This included UG's description of Pratapji as a ‘useless fellow’. Poor Pratapji had to parrot whole sentences verbatim for his mother!

Pratapji , in my experience, came closest to anyone who  dared " to  bell the cat", he was a staunch JK admirer, fond of grand Victorian manners of the senior Krishnamurti and would sometimes disapprove of UG's views and acts. He would launch a verbal onslaught without flinching or batting an eyelid. UG would give back. Sometimes the scene escalated  into a mini war and both exchanged expletives, curses with lots of  f-and b- words thrown at each other generously. Never saw anyone taking on UG like Pratapji did !

UG - Pratapji duals were unparalleled for the sheer lung power expended! And the mean words  exchanged. What ensued was the most funny part. Pratapji, all worked up,  swearing at UG , would walk away from the scene huffing & puffing, swearing never again to lay his eyes on UG. UG would look bemused, " Look at this guy..", as if nothing had happened!. UG took all the bashings in his stride and remained unruffled, cool as a cucumber!

Then came the best part ! Shortly after swearing that he would never again return to UG, Pratapji would invariably be seen walking in again with someone in tow, with his talented nieces or some other friends! He was very proud of his nieces. He always brought along someone or other every time to meet up with the ‘enlightened soul’! What could one say ? Such was his fatal attraction for UG !

UG would eagerly reciprocate by engaging Pratapji's friends, as though nothing had transpired between the two ! Pratapji would  once again be his closest pal, sitting at his feet and intently listening to UG all over again, till the next spat !

Pointing to Pratapji, UG would affectionately remark, " Sir, I am ever thankful to him, he is the guy who introduced me to Mahesh."

Even Mahesh Bhat was not spared by Pratapji, who was upset by the way women were portrayed in some of his films. He would be very critical and blast him ! Mahesh took all this vituperation sportingly!

On one occasion Mahesh got really mischievous and kept repeating, “ UG , grant me a boon - I want to see Pratapji getting laid at least once in life! Please, please….” And then laughing out loud! This went on for quite some time! It was hilarious and Pratapji sat demurely all through Mahesh's shenanigans! 

Regardless of the constant tongue-lashings between UG and himself, Pratapji remained ever faithful to UG and graced his portals till the end. Despite apparent differences in views, there was no rancour between the two. Love and affection were mutual and palpable.

Talk of 'living in the moment'!  Never was there a dull moment in a UG day!

Master-Disciple Relationship Is The Most Tenacious...It is a Trap !

                               Lao Tzu Statue ( Mount Qingyuan)

                      ("Laozi 002" by Thanato - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons)

“When the Master governs, the people
are hardly aware that he exists.
Next best is a leader who is loved.
Next, one who is feared.
The worst is one who is despised.”

 -Tao Teh Ching, Lao Tzu, Chapter 17, (Translation: S. Mitchel)   

  

  The beauty of Taoist wisdom is its pragmatism and penetrating clarity. Come to think of it, this amazing revelation of Lao Tzu about rulers and leaders is equally true and valid about spiritual teachers as well.

 The greatest spiritual teachers are only known to exist, one rarely chances upon them; the next rung are known and praised; the lesser ones are feared and finally, the inferior ones or conmen are despised or loathed.  

                                            

   Think of your closest friend who has acquired some secret medical knowledge & remedies! Looking at your physical condition, he gathers that you might fall sick! He gently, without a hint, persuades you to replenish your vitality by supplying nutrition, through appropriate food & drink, gradually & eventually restoring you back to pink of health. He does a cure with finesse and flourish while you remain blissfully unaware of either your sickness or its tacit cure!

This singular compassion and service, offered informally, in a friendly and sporting way, will ensure that you will not discover that he is your real doctor or that he has cured your unknown disease!

Akin to these kind of ‘secret doctors’ are real sages like Ramana or Ramakrishna. The real ones do not announce their learning and lead obscure lives ! They live as one amongst us without a hint about their greatness but secretly, silently and relentlessly work for the benefit of the people! 

It requires real guts and gumption to debunk recognition, reputation and a place in the sun! Only the real sage is endowed with such courage!

           Contrast the matchless services of the unsung doctor in the 'guise and garb' of your friend who cures your disease with the marketplace physician who craves for reputation! This second class doctor has a cure but can help only after you have fallen sick! He enjoys name and fame and boasts of a reputable clinic. They are akin to the gurus with a foundation or ashram.  Alas, their energies are divided between services to humanity and the upkeep of the organisation , a token of self-aggrandisement!

            

Coming now to the the last category: the lowest and most inferior classes of physicians! They are like the charlatans and quacks peddling bogus drugs that induce more diseases!  They declare that you are sick when healthy and coerce you to enrol in their clinics. They dare you not to visit or consult others! Our spiritual bazaar is rich with many such examples.     

   

The real sage or a true master (or a Sadguru) needs no ashram or foundation or forum or properties or books or followers. He has no agenda, no axe to grind, no investment to make! No show off,  no pomp and power play for him! He regards them as obstacles in his noble & silent, nameless & faceless services to humanity.

UG declared, “I have no message for mankind”! Unlike gurus hankering after followers, he roared, “Don’t follow me, I am lost myself !” If he discovered a lot of foot wear outside his door signalling too many visitors, he would shout, " I don't like the stench of an ashram!"To those who craved for his advice, he said, “Get lost and stay lost!”

To the Prime Ministers, Governors or leaders who wanted to meet him, he reiterated that he had no message of any kind but gently added that they were welcome to visit him minus their daunting 'Z plus' security arrangements. He always chose middle class residential places as his portals so common folk could visit him freely and openly. He abhorred the idea of high-security VIP movements that disturbed normal life in the vicinity of his place that inconvenienced ordinary people. 

Once genial Rajiv Gandhi, ex-PM agreed to let off his guard and meet UG as per his terms but was restrained by his security men who feared for his life.

Anyone, regardless of his or her station in life could meet and interact with UG. His doors were always open to sincere and honest seekers. The serious and the curious made a beeline to his portals. 

Our friend Raghavendra once remarked, “With UG, the doors were always open, anyone could walk in and walk out! Just think of other gurus and ashrams, once you are inside, the doors are closed shut…you are trapped inside!”

Having associated with spiritual guides and teachers for some decades, I couldn’t agree more with UG, who had once remarked at my predicament, “Among all relationships, the guru-shishya (master-disciple) relationship is the most tenacious ! It is a trap! Not everybody is lucky to escape the trap!”

I Really Don't Know

I Really Don't Know "- UG

This incident was narrated by Mahesh Bhatt.

UG once stayed in the hill resort of Kodaikanal in South of India along with Parveen Babi, Valentine and others.

Mahesh took a break from his hectic film shoots and arrived from Bombay to meet UG and friends.

UG, on this trip, had a chronic attack of cold and cough that made him unable to speak even. Others in his company fell sick too.

Mahesh walked in to the resort to discover everyone sick and no one to talk to ! He felt very depressed.

The whole atmosphere was dull and sickening.

He decided to go out into the woods alone for a walk. For some reason ,he felt miserable. On reaching a lonely spot, a clearing, he stopped ! He had a strange feeling that someone was following him. He spun around and was shocked to find UG standing behind !

Mahesh stared speechlessly at UG, and UG responded, " All this makes no sense, isn't it?". Precisely what Mahesh felt strongly deep within him at that very moment.

Mahesh says, "My master was the only one who said, " I really don't know ! Every guru, every spiritual teacher makes you feel that you are ignorant and only they 'know' "

(Photograph Courtesy: Wendy Moorty )

'The Indian Express' is talking to 'The Hindu'

It looks like 'The Indian Express' is talking to 'The Hindu' - UG

Major Dakshinamurti, a close associate of UG, recalled an anecdote about the learned man's slavery! Today he leads a contented, self-sufficient life, all by himself, in total harmony with nature in a farmhouse near Bangalore with no TV, newspaper or Internet, the trappings of a gregarious life.

Major, a big-time votary of BBC for 30 years, prided himself on the 'borrowed' knowledge doled out by the popular radio station. Further, he religiously consumed write-ups by some leading columnists of the day in national dailies like The Indian Express, The Times of India etc.

Once in the presence of UG, Major got into a heated debate with another highly opinionated visitor on some mundane issue. The argument got escalated, at some point it even turned furious with each side trading counter-arguments.

UG chipped in at the right moment, “Major, it looks like 'The Indian Express' is talking to 'The Hindu’! (The two leading English dailies in India) You both blurt out what you read in your favourite columns. Tell me, in all this, is there anything that you can call your own? It is all borrowed opinion! Even the servant maid has her own world view! All these arguments are just empty and worthless, mere clash of opinions! "

For the sensible Major, this indeed was an eye-opener and he thenceforth gave up on all his favourite columns.

Most of us are willing victims! Every one has a personal favourite - a writer, a columnist, an anchor. As UG points out, we are unconsciously tied to the 'doctored' opinion of these worthies.

The Falling Leaf....

Mahesh Bhatt once recollected an incident in Coorg, Karnataka, South India, when he visited UG who was staying in a Tea Estate.

On a lonely path in the woods, there was this tall tree shedding leaves. UG and Mahesh stood transfixed watching the sight- the leaf got detached , started its last journey, swaying and dancing in the gentle wind for a while before finally hitting the ground.

UG turned to Mahesh standing glued to the sight of the silent, falling leaf and remarked, " MAHESH, IF THIS FALLING LEAF CAN'T TEACH YOU ABOUT LIFE, NO SCRIPTURE CAN!"

You are a frightened chicken with no govt. or policeman !

UG stayed for a few weeks in Mukesh Bhatt's ( Mahesh Bhatt's brother ) flat in Mumbai, during the late 90s.

It was evening time. A motley crowd had gathered around UG. Mahesh Bhatt who was missing from action since morning trooped in. After greeting UG in a loud voice, he settled down on a nearby settee. He seemed to be in a great mood, looking for some fun! There was a sudden surge in energy and a lot of expectation in the air!

With Mahesh around, invariably UG would light up! Mahesh teased out the very best of UG’s invincible repartee! 

As eloquent and articulate as ever, Mahesh began his speech, along the lines of a TV anchor,

“ Sir ! Please tell us what do you think will happen to the biggest democracy in the world? Elections are over, the results are coming in. My sources are telling me that it will be yet another hung parliament like last time! Things are not going well for us  poor Indians! They say you are an enlightened man, you are also holding an Indian passport, but you sit here the whole day and keep talking , you don’t seem to be really bothered about the man on the street .. Come on! ….Time for you to act….Act now…..Tell us how as an enlightened man, you can really help the suffering millions? We are subjected to this torture of elections and now this hung parliament ! I demand an answer….. !”

UG flared up ,

“ Hey mister, you are telling me about those suffering people? Take a look at yourself first! What about the millions you have amassed? Your millions came from those poor people, people on the street, from those slum dwellers ( pointing in the direction of slums in the neibhourhood ) they are the ones who made you rich and famous! They don’t mind paying any amount in black to see your B grade movies!

Get this and get this straight ! You are least bothered about those people. The fact is you are scared of hung parliament ! Not they! They couldn’t care if there is a parliament, hung parliament or no parliament! They know very well none will really help them! It is you - rich and filthy bastards, who are afraid that without a parliament, there would be no government! You are afraid that these guys next door ( slum dwellers ) will crash into your houses , attack your wealth and finish off everything that you have accumulated. You are scared that without a government, with no law and order, these guys might loot your houses, steal everything from you… You are a frightened chicken! You are utterly selfish and you need a government , you need the policeman, to safeguard your millions, to save your skin! Don’t you tell me that you are concerned about the people on the street…you only think of yourself and your money all the time…nothing else…don’t talk of a hung parliament …don’t give me the crap !”

     UG’s exposé on democracy was a lesson on the shallowness of the celebrated institution!

" Those who do not worry about the chaos of the world but enjoy order in their own bodies, can be engaged in the conversation about the Way ( Tao or Life ) " - Lao Tzu