“Come on sir! It's nothing! Don’t even bother" - UG

UG enjoying a moment with feline beauties.

During one of his many visits to Bombay, our pilot friend, Kamal invited UG for breakfast to his flat. In those days, Kamal’s bachelor pad was in a thickly wooded area near Andheri. 

Early morning that day, UG and Mahesh Bhatt set out to reach Kamal's place. I was to join them with breakfast preparation from home. My wife Prasuna offered to prepare ‘idlis’ for us all. UG used to like her preparation, “When it comes to idlis, I can’t decide who makes it better –Suguna (Mrs. Chandrasekhar Babu) or your wife, both make it so well, it is difficult for me to choose between the two!”

That day, everything seemed to go awry. There was a delay in the preparation of food so I started late, the traffic snarls further delayed my arrival and it was well past breakfast time when I finally reached Kamal’s place.

After profusely apologising for the inordinate delay, I and Kamal rushed to serve food to UG. Mahesh said he had already finished his breakfast at home and come.

UG promptly went about his business and started attacking the idlis, I stood around waiting to serve ‘chutney’, a spicy serving to go with the bland idlis! All of a sudden, a frantic-looking Kamal darted across the room to my side and literally pulled me into the kitchen. He clearly looked a worried man! Obviously something had gone wrong! He wanted to know whether I had tasted the idlis myself, I said, 'No'!

Kamal gave me a shocker, “Suresh, looks like the batter for making idlis contained grains of sand"! And handed me a piece to taste! Ouch! I couldn't hold the grainy morsel on my tongue for even a second! 

For a moment, I stood there paralysed, feeling guilty of a capital crime!

Recovering from my shock & disbelief, I rushed out into the living room to see if I could salvage the situation. But it was too late! I caught a glimpse of UG as he lapped up the last piece of the sandy idli from his plate and got up to wash his hands!

He looked absolutely normal, calm and composed! There was no change in his facial expression, there was absolutely no sign to give away that he had just consumed a sandy meal!

I felt terrible and offered my unconditional apologies for the gross negligence! It was really unforgivable! It was unbecoming of me & wife to have served him such food! UG brushed aside the whole thing! With aplomb befitting a sage, he pacified me, “Come on sir! It's nothing! Don’t even bother".

I was dumbstruck! First ever time, I had witnessed what is hailed as the sagely equanimity!

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Fast forward to 2009 !

Kamal had flown back from Dubai that morning!
We were supposed to meet Mahesh Bhatt at his office. Kamal suggested we carry along a pack of fine dates he had brought from the desert. 

After the pleasantries got over, Kamal offered the pack of dates to Mahesh who promptly ordered for a plate and poured all the dates into the plate and passed it around for everyone in the office. Meanwhile, his lady writer, Shagufta Rafeeq joined us at the table. 

For some reason, she peeled open one of the dates before popping it in! She let off a huge scream, "Ooh! There are worms inside these dates"! And showed us a crawler! Already Mahesh, I and Kamal had generously helped ourselves and munched some delicious dates, blissfully unaware of what went alongside the dates into our tummies!

It was Kamal's turn to be dumbstruck!

Mahesh, cool and unruffled, called for the boys to remove the plate and dismissed the whole episode saying, "Ok! That's alright!" And hurried on to resume his favourite topic, UG, even as Kamal and I made brave efforts to gather our wits.  Shagufta, sitting next to us, unable to get over, looked completely dazed!

An aside:

On this particular day of sandy idlis, I had travelled to Kamal’s place in an auto rickshaw. As soon as I walked in, UG greeted me asking, “Sir! Did you come in your car driving all the way?” gesturing with both hands to indicate steering. I said, “No sir! I came by rickshaw.”

After some more time, he repeated the same question all over again using the same gesture, again I answered him in the negative.

A third time this question was repeated, all within a span of one hour! I patiently repeated that I did not own a car and that I used the public transport for my commute.

But UG’s remark had hit its mark!

I mulled over UG’s words that evening. There was something there for me to think and consider! Why would he go on asking that question?

Strangely, in those days, I used to spend a fortune on renting cars for a saffron-clad guru who used to be my guest. And UG’s refrain pushed me to weigh the option of going for my own car. This made sense as it would result in a lot of savings rather than blowing up money on prohibitive car rentals.

When UG arrived on his next visit, I had already bought a new car, a Fiat Palio and UG appeared delighted and showed it to one and all. He suddenly decided to make a trip to our home in the new car!

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