" You might fall! But your elbows and knees will put you back on your two feet" - UG

The completely resigned look, hands loosely hanging by the side.

The first ever spiritual literature I came across in my teenage life was The Autobiography of a Yogi by Swami Yogananda. The mystique of the Yogi's extraordinary life set me on the path of a relentless search  thereafter that tormented me for almost three decades.

After reading the book, a spiritual 'primer' of sorts, I was 'hooked' to the idea or possibility of the 'other world'! I began to look for even more juicy, spiritual stuff - more mysterious, more mystical! Then the inevitable happened, like millions of others, I too got onto the bandwagon of the famous spiritual master-disciple duo from Bengal, the fiery Swami Vivekananda and  his sagely guru, Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa. 

The abundant Ramakrishna - Vivekananda literature consumed years and years of my youthful life. At one time, I was doing yoga for three hours continuously everyday and meditating for several hours inducing in myself a false sense of 'spiritual high'. Their life stories were 'spiritually' seductive! They had a tremendous impact on my young, vulnerable mind. 

Many mystical experiences, events later, I got puffed up with spiritual pride! Inwardly, there was the dichotomy that was tearing me up and reminding me that I was still a human with clay feet. I could never reconcile my gross and mundane existence with all its carnal inclinations with the archetypal 'life of the spirit' that I was trying to impersonate. This to me was a festering open wound.

Looking back, I can only say that all those spiritual books succeeded only in creating the illusion of a spiritual 'journey' inside of me, where there was really none! 

****

Even as the disillusionment of my 'spiritual life' hit me hard, and I struggled hard to break free, destiny turned a sharp corner and landed me at the door step of another remarkable and fascinating character, J Krishnamurti. 

I could relate to JK like many others of my time. I too had been thoroughly disillusioned by the archaic traditions and practices, dogmas and doctrines and was hankering for a new, dynamic and refreshing interpretation of Truth or Reality, and that too in a language that I could easily understand and assimilate. 

JK fit the role of the new age teacher perfectly. His fabulous lingo helped him to become the spin doctor of what was to be the new age philosophy, a paradigm shift in looking at the world and at oneself. 

This delightful, intellectual odyssey with JK lasted a full three years, bang in the middle of my graduation program wrecking my student life as it were. This was also the time when I narrowly missed the opportunity of meeting up with JK in Rishi Valley, Madanapalle. This was just a few days before his final departure to the US! The opportunity was hijacked by a well meaning friend who wanted me to focus on my examination that was scheduled incidentally on the same days!

Then it suddenly happened! 

After a feverish spell with JK for days , months and years on end, one fine morning, he got flushed out of my system all of a sudden! After breathing in and breathing out JK every waking moment for years, it suddenly dawned on me that all those 'intellectual' journeys with JK were 'actually and factually' far removed from 'real' life journeys. His 'on the couch' journeys appeared fruitless and burdensome. In that rare moment of truth, I was finished with the man, once and for all.

I celebrated my freedom from the intellectual tyranny of the First and Last Freedom by gifting away all JK books, videos and audio tapes.

JK's emphasis on 'depsychologising' the mind ironically had its opposite effect ! His intellectual trips, the 'unchartered journeys' had reduced me into an 'arm chair philosopher' and a parrot who endlessly and mindlessly repeated JK phrases.

****

With JK now behind me, and very much left to my own devices, I once again started picking up pieces of my own shattered life in right earnest. For a change, I wanted to become an entrepreneur and establish a small scale industry.

But Life had its own plans.

In the mid-80s however, for the first time, after 'walking out' on JK, there appeared in my life a flesh and blood 'guru' in the form of the late Rayaru a k a GR Nagaraja Rao ( an avadhoot , a spiritual guide ) who fascinated me no end with his practical approach, his 'monstrous' energy and incredible insights into life. 

Rayaru was a great devotee of Sri Raghavendra Swami ( a famous, celebrated saint from the  South of India who lived in the 17th Century). It was my brother who insisted that I should meet Rayaru and arranged for our rendezvous, just after my graduation.

Rayaru was unusual! He seemed to practically live on air, skipping food most of the time. On the other hand, he guzzled pots of coffee, day and night and chewed on betel leaf non-stop! He was a 'sleepless wonder' holding discussions with people at all hours of the day and night! He answered the description of a 'biological freak.'

Rayaru's remarkable observations on life sometimes came pretty close to that of JK's or even UG's. I did mention to him at one time that if only he knew English, he would have been as famous as JK ( At that time, I was yet to meet the man called UG ). 

Rayaru was a human dynamo! He relentlessly moved about visiting towns and villages, covering hundreds of miles every day, playing the role of a spiritual guide and mentor to his followers and devotees. I found him sincere in his intentions at the time. He was working day and night to help and guide people from all walks of life, instilling courage and confidence in them and guiding those who were 'stuck' in life.  

Having gotten over the traditional mindset during my brush with JK, I was finding myself constantly at loggerheads with this traditional man. I had given up on meditation and stayed away from temples and religious places. On the other hand, I enjoyed a great rapport with him and in fact I accompanied him on many of his frequent trips and was privy to how he impacted people who were really suffering in life. 

Rayaru was with me exclusively on and off for almost three years before gathering a sizable following. In a sudden departure from his vagabond life, he decided to establish a 'mutt' ( ashram) and settle down in a tiny hamlet, East of Nandi Hills near Bangalore. This in a way was the defining moment in our relationship.

Crowds had now started gathering around him in huge numbers and somewhere along  I could sense his secret ambition to establish the spiritual centre. I thoroughly detested the idea and vociferously objected to him and others who were now keen on putting up the infrastructure. This became a bone of contention between the two of us.

But my relationship with this strange man made me discover many hitherto unknown dimensions of life.

****

One incident that still stands out in my memory.

On a late summer evening he turned up at my bachelor pad. He appeared tired that day and wanted to sleep on the terrace and I laid out his mattress for him and went back to my business of preparing for a lecture the next day! After a while I slept off inside the room, keeping the door open, just in case he wanted to use the restroom anytime during the night.

The pitter-patter sound of rain drops on my window panes woke me up rudely  from my slumber. The clock showed 1 30 am.

I suddenly recollected that Rayaru was sleeping outside on the terrace. I ran out quickly to find him still on the bed. The rain now was beginning to gather pace! As I shook him up, a strange thing happened! His body, like a log of wood, rolled off towards the parapet wall. I was shocked and ran over and quickly checked his breath and pulse, found out that both were missing! He was taller and heftier than me, there was no way I could carry him back into the room on my own! It was a God forsaken hour to look for any outside help. I didn't have any phone line either to call my friends! I quickly rolled him back onto his mattress like timber and ran back into my room. I found a thick plastic sheet to cover him up, I was only hoping that the rain would cease soon!

All through the episode, I strongly felt that this was some kind of a 'yogic' thing, that indeed he was alive but possibly had turned off his vital breath as yogis do and should be lying there in some kind of deep hibernation or 'yoga nidra.' 

Even if he were indeed dead, there was absolutely nothing that I could do at that godforsaken hour!  The whole world was sleeping! I was all alone and helpless ! Something deep inside of me told me that indeed nothing could go wrong and I went back into my room and very soon fell asleep.

Sounds in the kitchen woke me up to a bright and sunny morning. Rain the previous night appeared like a far away dream! Rayaru was preparing the 'bed coffee' and greeted me cheerfully. I couldn't hold back my surprise, " Rayare! What happened ? Where were you early this morning? What mischief were you up to? I checked your pulse and breath, you appeared dead to me!" He dismissed me with, " Hey! I just don't know what you are talking about . Stop playing the 'detective', huh! Here, enjoy your morning coffee." He dodged all my attempts to seek an answer to my puzzle. 

What happened that night still remains a mystery to me!

****

My dissent and fierce opposition to the idea of Rayaru founding a 'mutt' was causing strain in our relationship. He obviously started gravitating towards those who were in favour of the new mutt. I arranged for a new accommodation for some of our common friends who lived with me at the time in a posh locality in Bangalore and Rayaru moved into the new home along with them. I happily continued staying in my small 'terrace' flat and carried on independently just like before.

A couple or so years before the end of my relationship with Rayaru, I had chanced upon UG's book, Shanta Kelkar's , Sage and the Housewife.

Having by then traversed the whole spiritual landscape - from Swami Paramahans Yogananda, Swami Vivekananda, Sri Ramakrishna, J K to Rayaru, I was thoroughly disillusioned about all things spiritual and also completely devastated.

****

After almost half a dozen years with Rayaru from '86 to '92, for the first time, I met up with the man called UG on the 10th of July 1992. 

My life was to change for ever, rather my notion of 'change' was to cease for ever!

When I saw UG, my whole being resonated and there was a gut feeling that this was the Total Man or Real Man that I was always looking for all my life!

In UG, for the first time, I witnessed the boldness and authenticity of a man who walked the talk! His simplicity and honesty were a delight to behold. His refusal to own up his extraordinary intelligence endeared me to him even more! What made him stand apart was that he wanted nothing from you or me or anyone. He remained fiercely independent, allowing no relationship to take root, allowing no build up of any sort, giving no one the baton to propagate his work! He was uncompromising to a fault, nothing came in his way of stating the naked truth - no relationship, no power, no authority, no familiarity, none whatsoever could check him! He didn't embellish his words, he uttered the naked truth regardless of how you felt or received it - you could take it or leave it!

After having personally gone through the whole hog of the spiritual milieu by now, my rebellious spirit was raging to break free from the cultural and intellectual tyranny of social environment. 

UG held the key! 

UG's outbursts had the effect of a real dynamite that could blast the bedrock of our cherished heritage and and shatter the very foundations of intellect and culture.  

Meeting UG was indeed the turning point of my life.

At my first meeting, he pointedly questioned me about the basis for any dependence, spiritual or psychological, " They say God helps those who help themselves, if you could help yourself, then why do you need God?" and further drilled, " Sir, I rejected all kinds of authorities, I was heretical to the tip of my toes! I walked on my own! What can happen? You might fall! So what? Your elbows and knees will then put you back on your two feet. It is important to stand on your two feet, howsoever shaky they may be, rather than borrow crutches however attractive or strong!"

****

Shortly after bouncing into UG, I increasingly found myself at crossroads with Rayaru. Things began to precipitate in a way leading to bitterness on his part. He detested my refusal to tow his line and be part of his spiritual entourage. A guru is lost without his followers! With redoubled zeal, he started recruiting a great number of followers to his camp and was keen on propagating his legacy.

Just a few months after meeting up with UG, there ensued a public show down between myself and the erstwhile guru when I defied his command to attend a ceremony at his village! He had enough of me and my defiance, he flared up and began shouting at me right in the middle of a crowded street in the metro. Strangely all through this flare-up, I felt great calmness and composure!  Inside of me, there was great stillness and silence even as he was raging against me and throwing mouthfuls right in the middle of an amused city crowd that stopped and watched the entire spectacle. Oh boy, was he upset! 

Once we reached our apartment, I calmly spoke for the first time, drawing his attention to his possessive attitude, he wanted to own me like a coat or a shirt and I told him that it would not happen, that even my own dad had given up on me. 

We had finally parted ways, the relationship simply fell apart. I did meet him a few times thereafter but there was no warming up like before. 

It was all over. 

I was lucky to have met UG who had steeled my backbone. I surprisingly began to discover enormous strength in my own independence.

A few years later when I sat listening to UG blasting away gurus in Chandrasekhar Babu's house, I suddenly fell into a reverie about Rayaru, UG suddenly turned to me and exploded, " No looking back in life sir! You just move on!"

****

UG and the World Economy

That evening in Parekhji’s home in Bombay, UG had a pleasant visitor, an accomplished Economist. A humble, open and receptive man.

An engaging conversation took place between the visitor and UG. They touched upon many topics of interest highlighting the economic scenario both in India and the world.

What amazed one and all was the authority with which UG spoke about the goings on in US and the world on crucial aspects of economy. His clarity and sharpness was evident throughout the meeting and the economist listened to him with keen interest. At times, the visitor gently intervened with a few leading questions teasing UG to offer his unique and extraordinary perspective on current affairs.

To say the least, it was a revelation about UG’s extraordinary understanding and depth on matters mundane!

When the meeting got over, the visitor thoroughly impressed and satisfied, thanked UG for his time and took leave.

Those were the days I was keenly engaged in socio-economic issues, financial literacy being my chief concern.

I quickly moved over to UG and demanded, “Sir! It is really amazing to see that you know the workings of global economy and the intricacies of the New York Stock Exchange so well! You really seem to know it like the back of your hand!”

UG’s answer to say the least was a shocker, “Sir! I have followed Wall Street for eight long years, on and off! I should know it better than anyone else! Sometimes I spent whole days in Wall Street, from morning till evening, just watching the proceedings. Not that I was interested in investment or anything. I was just plain curious!”

****

"What is wrong with you? Why did you do that?" - UG

A famous man and a long-term associate of UG once invited him for a lunch at the Woodlands, Juhu, Bombay.

The day arrived.

Many of us, clueless about UG’s luncheon appointment, sat around UG in the main hall at Parekhji’s place discussing and debating things.

At noon the celeb’s wife appeared at the door.

UG was right in the middle of some interesting talk and didn’t appear to notice her!

The lady stood near the doorway for a long time before calling his attention, “Hi UG! How are you? Could we proceed for lunch, I think it’s time!”

Noticing her for the first time, “Oh! You are here! Where is he?” asked UG, referring to her husband.

“He is in the car downstairs, waiting for you!”

The gentleman obviously wanted to get on with it and had sent in his wife to wean UG away from the crowds for a private lunch!

UG took it all in and seemingly ignored her plea and promptly returned to his conversation and the talk resumed.

Another ten minutes passed by and the lady now determined to seek his attention drew herself closer to UG! UG still appeared oblivious to her presence and carried on with his conversation.

Minutes ticked away, the lady now shedding a little more of her patience took a few decisive steps towards UG and reaching him gently patted him on his shoulder,

“UG, I think we should get going now! It is your lunch time……he is waiting in the car since the last half hour!”

UG (suddenly turning to us) “What about you guys? Are you joining us for lunch?”

Even the lady appeared startled but recovered quickly. She blurted out an instant invitation to all of us, “Yes gentlemen! Why don’t you all join us for lunch! That will be nice!”

 “Er.....Hmmm ….Yeah…”

The prospect of being uninvited guests was not easy to digest!!

With UG egging us on, “Come on! Let’s go!” we had no choice in the matter!

At the restaurant they stitched the tables together so we could all assemble in one corner. We were a sizable crowd and numbered almost twenty!

The lady chose to sit with some of us at one end of the table while UG and the celebrity host sat at the far end with others.

The awkward feeling of being an unwelcome guest was already weighing heavily upon some of us for sure and it was more so in my case! I decided to skip the lunch and apologetically ordered for a dosa preferring a light refreshment, to keep it light on someone’s pocket!

The lady host seated next to me chattered on non-stop, sometimes fussing over the menu and sometimes explicating the dishes and recipes. Woodlands was a regular joint of UG’s and the à la carte was all too familiar for us regulars. The chatter only helped fill the somewhat uncomfortable silence!

At long last, we reached the end of our awkward luncheon ritual! I now checked with some friends for one last time about their preference for hot beverages and we all decided on coffee. I promptly ordered for a pot coffee for us – fully aware that the quantity would suffice for the four of us at the table. The lady butted in almost immediately, “Be aware that one pot coffee should suffice for all of us here – no need to order more, it makes for four cups you know, why waste?”

This was the proverbial last straw on the camel’s back… At least I had enough! Blame it on my thin skin!

Instantly and silently I made up my mind! I shall be picking up the tab for the whole party!

I now secretly schemed and summoned the Udipi waiter who spoke Canarese, my native tongue and instructed him to quietly submit the bill to me. Our Hindi speaking friends at the table had no clue what transpired between us.

Without much ado, I settled the bill in a silent coup!

After a while, UG and the celeb at the far end finished their lunch and waited for the bill to arrive. Except for my friend who sat next to me, no one had a clue what had happened.

When our host finally called out for the bill, he was shocked to learn that someone had already paid the bill. Even UG appeared shocked! Many at the party didn’t know what actually had happened!

I got up quietly and started towards the door before the others got the wind of it!

Someone finally spilled the beans and the celeb couple rushed towards me to accept their money, I excused myself and quickly disappeared down the stairs.

When we made it back to Parekhji’s place, the couple were already there waiting for me at the top of the stairs. There was disbelief and dejection in the gentleman’s voice at the turn of events but I dodged his attempts to compensate the bill.

What happened next morning is still fresh in my memory.

As I walked through the door, I heard UG shouting, “There he is Mahesh! This fellow paid the bill! What was the need for him to pay? ”

The heat was turned on full blast even as I entered!

It continued as I tried to settle down on the floor beside UG!

UG looked really upset!

He was breathing fire and turning to me and tapping his forehead with his knuckles he gestured to me that I had botched it all up, “Hey, what is wrong with you? Why did you do that? That guy is a multi-millionaire, it was chicken feed for him! He even has a Swiss account!”

I never knew I would be inviting such wrath from the raging sage! This and another occasion were the only time when UG gave me the ‘stick’ and they stand out in my memory to this day!

For some reason, UG the ‘gentle Jesus’ at least for me all through those years of my association with him had been really upset for some reason better known only to him!

The fiasco was even conveyed over the phone to our Bangalore friends and Chandrasekhar Babu had the full report!

I somehow felt it was inappropriate for me to air my feelings out in the public and maintained a stoic silence.

But UG did not seem convinced! He took every opportunity to remind me about the fiasco!

I wanted a private audience to put an end to the matter. I did not have to wait long!

A couple of days later UG took a flight to Bangalore and I went to see him off at the airport. When we were alone at the VIP lounge, I apologized to him on my impulsive behavior at the restaurant and UG heard out the whole episode and said, “That’s alright! Let us now forget about it!”

I heaved a sigh of relief!

But here was the shocking thing!

Only a few weeks after this unfortunate fiasco, the celeb who was supposed to host UG’s lunch that day had suddenly died of heart attack.

His last and final opportunity to host UG’s lunch had been unknowingly hijacked by me ! I had transgressed and had trespassed into the sacred space between two intimate souls!

I never felt more agitated in my life!

****

As I am finishing this blog, I just now receive the news that my first flesh and blood guru Sri Nagaraja Rao (Rayaru) has journeyed into the Great Beyond just a few moments ago!

This remarkable man did play a great role in the initial years of my life. He thoroughly bashed my arrogance, the consequence of my bookish knowledge and upturned my investment in some spiritual experiences calling their bluff! He helped me in shedding the intellectual baggage grounding me into the essentials!

Just after my engineering, I ran into this guru of mine! I enjoyed some great moments and had the privilege of his exclusive company for the next three years before people began to mob him! He had a unique and revolutionary approach to life and helped many individuals to shed personal weaknesses and bizarre complexes to unflinchingly face trials and tribulations and move on with their lives.

I am reminded of an incident very similar to the one above with UG! What a coincidence!

During the months that followed my graduation, I kept myself busy doing sundry jobs before I got a good break through a well-wisher, a close friend’s father to join as a part time faculty in a polytechnic!

The gentleman who helped me was also the Trustee of the institution and had a special affection for me. I almost became a member of their family!

When I mentioned to him about my guru during one of our conversations, he expressed his keen desire to meet him at least once!

I spoke to Rayaru and proposed that we should visit the family once. Rayaru appeared very reluctant and in fact kept dodging my plea every single time I broached the subject. This went on for a long time till one day I insisted that both of us should visit the good Samaritan and not postpone the visit anymore!

As he reluctantly climbed into the pillion of my bike, he once again remarked, “Is it really required for me to see him?”, I wasted no time, “ Yes Rayare! He is very sincere and I want you to meet him at least once! Let’s go!”

Just a few hundred yards from the destination Rayaru stopped me again for his ‘jarda’ (a betel leaf preparation) in a roadside shop! We stopped! Again he turned to me, “ Suresha, can we skip this visit and return home!”

I declined!

He then said, “Look, I am coming only for your sake! Mark my words, the time and the day, you shall remember!”

We soon arrived at the destination. I introduced Rayaru to my well-wisher. On seeing the man, Rayaru immediately said, “You are a very good cook! Especially you are a past master in making Mysore Pak (a popular sweet in the South of India). I want you to make me half a piece of this sweet because the flour in your kitchen will suffice for a small piece. We shall talk afterwards. Now off you go and start the preparation!”

The man was delighted at the encounter and rushed into the kitchen and shortly returned with a container that had only a little flour enough to make a small piece of the sweet! It turned out that he was a fantastic cook and his delicious Mysore Pak was greatly relished by one and all, a fact hitherto unknown to me!

Rayaru spent conversing with each and every member of the household well into the night till the wee hours of the morning. He could read a person like a book! And helped the individuals to overcome fear, disbelief and bolstered their confidence to accomplish their aims. Sometimes he would advise people to give up certain pursuits and switch over to others more suitable to their individual nature.

When we finally took leave, it was almost day break!

The next day was a Saturday! I dropped him back at his remote place, a tiny hamlet, East of Nandi Hills near Bangalore!

The following Monday when I reported to my college, I was greeted by a black board announcing the demise of my well-wisher who had been our host barely 48 hours ago!

Rayaru’s words suddenly came ringing back to me hitting me in the guts!

He had clearly smelled death from a distance!

*****

“A real Guru frees you from himself!”– UG

UG’s ‘teaching’, sorry, blasting was totally unconventional.

His unpredictable, ‘un-rational’ responses to our burning questions, to say the least, were jolting, shattering and bewildering!  

This leaves us wondering if there was any ‘teaching’ there at all ? 

There is no discounting or disregarding the fact that UG played an extraordinary role in our lives. Amidst the cacophony of sermons, UG remains the lone and sane voice that continues to resonate deep within our psyche, awakening us from our deep hypnotic slumber induced by the cultural environment.

We practically live, breathe and die in culture. Culture, the superimposed reality permeates our every living tissue and cell. Epigenetics, the new branch of science has earnestly begun its study on how culture or social environment is influencing our biology. 

UG was unique in many ways. He relentlessly highlighted the tyranny of the borrowed knowledge, the tyranny of the borrowed wisdom! He ruthlessly blasted our (blind acceptance of) traditions, values, beliefs, concepts, notions and our borrowed ideas about Truth or Reality! 

We tenaciously hold on to our heritage, traditions or values from the distant past. They are sacred and sacrosanct to us. UG emphasised that howsoever grand and noble, this borrowed wisdom cannot become our ‘living truth.’ In other words, the wisdom remains conceptual at best and does not operate or translate into action in our day to day lives!

UG was unsparing in his critique and challenged us every time when we tried to sing glories of our tradition, glories of the wisdom of ages or sages, 

“Forget about your Gita, your Upanishads, tell me what do YOU have to say? Do YOU have anything to say, I want to know!” and continued,  

“If any of these things have really helped you at all, in any way, then you will not be sitting here in front of me,  for that matter, you will never visit anyone again looking for answers! That shows all those answers from all those books have failed you, all those gurus have not helped you in any way, I am sorry…!” 

****

An encounter with UG was akin to a ‘dry wash’! His scrubbing and drubbing could wash away the most stubborn of ‘stains’ of the cultural kind. Our cherished ideas, concepts, views and misgivings of a lifetime got flushed away in the wash cycle! 

Even as he was helping us in discarding our crutches, our weaknesses, our dependencies on each and every kind of prop, UG made sure that we did not turn him into our new crutch! He uncannily managed to dodge every attempt to hold onto him, “Don’t follow me! I have no message for mankind....”

UG successfully managed to sidestep all our attempts to cast him in the role of a ‘teacher’ or ‘guru’. There lies his true genius!  

Teaching, in case of UG was more a process of dumping and discarding. Lao Tzu sheds light in the following famous passage in Tao Teh Ching:

“The student of knowledge (aims at) learning day by day;
The student of Tao (aims at) losing day by day.”

Chapter #48, Tao Teh Ching (a translation by Lin Yutang)

****

There is an interesting story of Chi Sheung in the lore of Chan Buddhism.

Chi Sheung was a seeker after Truth and had found himself a guru to guide him on his spiritual path. After sometime, unable to resolve his doubts with his teacher, he presented himself before the Sixth Patriarch and sought his help about his strange predicament in the following words: 

 "After staying there three months without receiving any instruction, and being zealous for the Dharma, I went alone one night to his (guru’s) chamber and asked him, what my essence of mind was. He ( the guru) asked me, 'Do you see the illimitable void?' 'Yes, I do,' I replied. Then he asked me whether the void had any particular form, and on replying that the void must be formless and therefore cannot have any particular form, he said: 'Your Essence of Mind is exactly like the void. To realise that there is nothing to be seen, is Right View. To realise that nothing is knowable, is True Knowledge. To realise that it is  neither green nor yellow, neither long nor short; that it is pure  by nature; that its quintessence is perfect and clear; is to realise Essence of Mind and thereby to attain Buddhahood. This is also called, Buddha-knowledge." 

Chi Sheung continued: 

"As I do not quite understand this teaching, will you please enlighten me, Sir?" 

“His teaching indicates," said the Patriarch, "that he (Chi Sheung’s guru ) still retains the arbitrary concepts of ‘Views’ and 'Knowledge'; that explains why he failed to make it clear to you.”

“If you realise for one moment that these arbitrary concepts ( the concepts of ‘invisibility’ and ‘unknowability’ ) are wrong, then your own spiritual light will shine forth unhindered."

****

A teacher who unwittingly leaves behind a teaching rich in concepts and ideas, has failed in his mission. Howsoever grand and noble may be his cause, he leaves behind him a baggage and a burden!

UG was fully aware of the dangers of verbalization, of views and concepts and their serious limitations and implications. He was extremely careful not to give us a chance to ‘store away’ or verbalise the learnings in his encounters!

UG reiterated, “You don’t have to take my word for it or anyone else’s for that matter. You must test every word of what I am saying and find out for yourself and by yourself whether there is any truth to what I am saying!”

I vividly recollect this particular incident in Major’s farm house in Bangalore when I tasted UG’s chastisement.

I was seriously discussing about something that had bothered me for some time. UG in his typical style highlighted the meaninglessness of my query and dismissed the whole thing as baseless! His words on the occasion were extraordinary! In his words, I suddenly discovered a new dimension hitherto unknown to me. As I vainly made an attempt to further grasp its purport, UG fired back at me from a point blank range, “NO! You don’t understand what I am saying! You have no clue! You will never know what I am saying. Forget it!” Just when I thought I had got what he was saying, here UG was shooting me down mercilessly! I was completely dumbfounded!

With UG, all our attempts at understanding or grasping simply got the boot! He pointed out that they were only clever tricks of thought to dig itself deeper and entrench itself more firmly in our psyche!

UG read our every thought and stopped us instantly, checking us, choking us and giving us no room for escape! Chandrasekhar Babu recollects UG’s promise, “I will leave no room for you to escape, no room at all, I will shut every door, window and even the ventilator, I will completely choke you!”

****

Real Teaching seems more a process of discarding! It is discarding the non-essence, the false or the acquired. It could be unlearning, unburdening where we taste real freedom from the tyranny of culture, of knowledge, of intellect. 

Real Teaching lets the innate, native intelligence to flower and express itself freely. The expression of this essence is pure, simple and natural. The discarding of the burden of human knowledge unleashes the primal energy. 

Real Teaching removes the blockages so there is free flow of life energy. We meet life energy in full display in the untethered movements of the child. The child displays natural spontaneity, charm and innocence. The child and the sage seem to share many a common trait!

Real Teaching does not allow for any build-up! It doesn’t give rise to new doctrines, concepts, views, techniques, ‘isms’.

As one drops and discards the intellectual baggage, there is the overwhelming gush of life energy that is benign, cleansing and healing!

Real Teaching lets one discover and recover one’s own innate intelligence, the inherent greatness lying within one’s own bosom.

Real Teaching rather Real Teacher does not allow any buildup, be it a concept or a relationship!

Unfortunately in today’s sham world of spirituality, many Teacher- Disciple relationships end up as mutually exploitative dependencies. The disciple can’t do without the teacher and the teacher can’t survive without the disciple!

Even the genuine gurus and sishyas might fall into the golden trap of sentiments - the sentiments of gratitude and indebtedness. Howsoever noble, sentiments are debilitating, binding and blinding. They are the ‘warty outgrowth’ of culture or value system! Even the noblest of sentiments could turn into Albatross around our necks and become psychological burden! In the context of ‘Teacher- Disciple’ relationship this could reverse the benefits of teaching and learning!

Who else but UG could sum it up consummately, 

“A real Guru frees you from himself.”  

****

Footnote (Highlighted Text) : The Chi Sheung episode is from the chronicles of the Sixth Patriarch and not from the lore of Buddha and has been edited accordingly. Kindly note the correction, apologies for the inconvenience!

"Sages Yajnavalkya, Aruni, Sanatkumara come out of him and speak to you." - Dr. KB Ramakrishna Rao

UG & Dr. KBR (both in white) and Dr.S.S. Raghavachar

UG And His Encounter with 'Calamity'

---By Dr. K B Ramakrishna Rao

For all purposes, U G (that is how U G Krishna Murthy is known) is like anyone you may come across. But begin to listen to him, at once you feel that a description ‘extraordinary’ would be simply inadequate. He pronounces, ‘whatever he has said or has been saying is tradition‘. This amazes you. For what of that ‘tradition’, he has spoken? As he talked, you were feeling corroded -- and when he says, it is all tradition you feel he is kidding you. For you have witnessed the uprooting of the ‘tradition’ you had known. And its collapse!

Yes. How can everything that has been or has come into being be 'tradition’?

UG admonishes: ‘No, that is no tradition, that is no authority’.

Then, what is that ‘tradition he says he is speaking of? It is neither old, nor what is believed’. It is the truth that speaks for itself and by itself. Its emergence is not related to time or belief. lt is not corrected by experience, nor perfected through practice and skill. It is not obtained by meditation. It is not a result.

What the sacred scripture (the ‘sastra') has wished to convey, but failed to express, or what it said, but we have failed to grasp, that sprouts here, in UG, with extraordinary power and life. Maybe, what had all along rusted in the course of custom and habit, bursts forth here with a luster, and we are dazzled by its brilliance. We proclaim, ‘how new it is, how refreshing and pure it is!’ In no time we have realised how this ‘tradition’ of U G has exposed all false tradition we have been in and about.

A ‘State’

U G is not a ‘person’. He is a 'state'. lt is this ‘state’ which the Vedanta identifies as the ‘Brahman‘ or the ‘Atman‘, or 'Moksha‘ or ‘Ananda’. We do study the Vedanta and the scriptures. We think we have understood the secrets of Vedanta so well taught by the teachers. We are proud of our learning. But we should only ask ourselves, if really we had the experience of the truth or a glimpse of the thing indicated by the sacred lore. We are too prone to dabble in terms and loudly too on several occasions. We speak of those great terms: Atman, Brahman, Sushupti, Turiya etc. Neither having understood their depth nor having grasped their extension. We speak as though they are like concrete things on our work-table—a ‘fait accompli’. But a single encounter with U G will be sufficient to realise how deluded we were about things and concepts. All our storehouse of knowledge is belied in his presence. He will have destroyed our ‘knowledge‘, and pride too!

Is it, then, our learned knowledge and scriptural mastery ignorance of false?

Meet UG and discover for yourself the answer, how to receive it and how not. ‘Lead us from darkness to light’ is our constant prayer.  It is for this purpose we put our effort, practise meditation, cultivate austerity. But UG brushes them aside, and decrees: ‘all that leads you from darkness to greater darkness’.

U G says: ‘this State in which l am, was not obtained by all such Sādhana, however sincere it was.  For, that is not of the nature of a result. It should happen, and can happen to anybody in spite of endeavour. lt is something far removed from the relationship of cause and effect. And so, l could not obtain it by Sādhana’. We may be surprised at such statements. But they are true we learn in his company. We are taken aback at first, but while coming back, we wonder whether all our labour and schooling had not been futile.

But we ponder, and ask ourselves: How could that be admitted? ‘Haven’t we had numberless saints and mystics in our religious history? Haven't they wanted us to do sādhana? Aren't we told that ‘avatars' themselves had descended to lift us up and redeem’? Aren't we told of devotees in scores getting salvation by grace? We ask, aren't these our evidences for accepting the 'way' tradition has decreed, and the 'goal’ it has visualised? We are satisfied, and nurture our hopes and work for our salvation. We continue our search for a Guru and his promises of a heaven, a bliss, a beatitude, till we, again, encounter UG.

He smiles at us, and dashes our dreams! With a calmness that has the strength of Himalayas, he says : ‘All that you need to know and ought to do is just to seek for food and clothing!‘ ‘Beyond that, any pursuit of bliss or beatitude or salvation is will o’-the-wisp!' This is plain talk and we are told that all aspirations of getting an eternal and unchanging bliss or salvation, would be the first blunder. It is like being in one's own home, but seeking outside its address. It is the sign of having missed what you have, but going out in search of something which is not.

Is it, then UG is a rank materialist, an atheist or a positivist?

He is none of these. He is simply a ‘natural man’.  He has no ‘theory’ to put forth, and no argument in defense.  ‘l am not speaking’, he says, ‘the State is expressing itself’. Yes. His statements have nothing in them of the heat one may find in the dialectic of the pundits engaged in establishing and describing the nature of reality, either as one or many, or as this or that.

There is always a twinkle in U G’s eyes, and his smile beguiles us. He draws us as a magnet would do, and we go. He asks: ‘why have you come here? I cannot do anything for you. Neither can I give, nor can you receive. Get out of here!’  Yet an inexplicable force draws us to him.

If ever we can intuit of what he says, that would be the end of our stay there. That may also be the end of all our seeking, our visits to holy places and holy men! The peculiarity of this ‘magnet’ of U G is, as it draws, so it repels!

Many are caught in to the magnetic web of U G. They lose all awareness of time or surroundings. Hours they sit enraptured and mystified. How does this happen? Look at him straight. He is a spell, both his form and deport. All our scholarship, wisdom, and knowledge of sciences and scriptures get dumb in his presence.

The most talkative gets mute. And the most argumentative misses his logic. The hair-splitter gets lost. The invincible meets his defeat!

But is it ‘defeat?’ No. That should be ‘victory’! For herein, one has unwittingly stumbled upon something he has been in search for ages, and has been missing all along. It is an ‘accident‘, one which changes. You don’t stay there. You run. All by yourself, towards no ‘goal’, but towards yourself avoiding all mentors who may promise heaven, bliss and all glory!

Is this not new? Is this not strange‘?

Not a Recluse

UG is not a recluse, nor a sanyasi. He wears no ochre robe. Neither rides on a palanquin with pomp and pageantry. There is no intermediary or a mediator. Many who have gone to meet him, have asked him ‘where is UG?’ Yes, you can even address him by his personal name. This is extraordinary for one expecting to meet a ‘spiritual guru'. But here there is no embarrassment or need to prostrate or address him as Lordship, Holy presence or World teacher. He says, he is none of these. It is rare to come across a man of the type of U G. He is just there, a simple man. You knock, and he opens the door!

‘Calamity’

Not many have heard of him. And of those who may have heard, not many have met him. It is not enough you meet him, you must be with him—not once, but often, if possible. And what may happen to you, you alone can be your witness! That may be your ‘calamity’ -- not a bad word, indeed, if you come to know what it means in the context of UG.

What is U G's message?

‘Nothing’, says he.

His words are like those of ‘Upanishads'. Many a time you find in what he says reflections of the great sears. Yajnavalkya, Aruni, Sanatkumara, the seer of the Mandukya Upanishad come out of him and speak to you. Buddha, Gaudapada and Sankara stand before you.  For those who cannot follow U G everything would be inconsistent. But for him who can know, it is all joy, nay, it is fulfillment.

The vision that U G gives is new. Here the philosophy of Self of the Upanishads is reconciled with Buddha's philosophy of No-self: the immutable theory of the real is harmonised with theory of eternal flux. Are not these sets mutually contradictory? The question bothers the follower of the Upanishads, even as it does the opponent.  Herein lies the most unique aspect of UG‘s vision.  What U G says, the pundit neither can digest, nor reject. Pointing to his chest, U G says ‘There is nothing here called the Atman, but there is Witnesshood.  Here there is no agent, but all that is action. There is no subject here, but every object creates it. There is no immortality, but nowhere there is birth or death. There is no mind, and if there is one, it is not different from the body. The mind divides life, but if it unites with life, ‘it illumines and makes it dynamic.’

Such statements naturally bewilder us.  Here the ‘tradition’ that we know fails us and logic gets derailed. Yet UG says with a smile: ‘there is nothing that mystifies here, there is no mystery at all!’

U G is akin to an ocean.  Of it, if you ask, ‘is it unchanging, static or eternally dynamic?’ he simply says: ‘it is your question, not mine.  I am not concerned at all. lt need not even be answered. If you realise the meaninglessness of it, it disappears.’  All this is confusing to us. Yet, it we can intuit the 'state' of U G, in the words of the Upanishad, ‘the unheard becomes heard, and the unknown becomes known.’

Root of Dharma

UG warns: in this ‘state’ there is no 'religious' content, yet we cannot forget that it is the root of all ‘dharma’ (in its primary sense of an all-bearing and all-sustaining force).   He says there is no ‘social’ content in it, yet we see in it the foundation of all social structure and good life. He says, there is no ‘value’ here, yet we cannot deny that all value originates therein, and gets evaluated.

If such is not the truth, we would not have reason to go to U G, nor like to listen to him enraptured. Even though he does not invite any, what reason compels us to go to him?

Is U G a ‘mystic'? Is he a ‘prophet’?

None of these.  As he says of himself, he is just a ‘natural man‘, ‘the end product of human evolution.'

Not that we can understand such simple statements. Perhaps never can we understand. The Evolutionist, both the philosophical and the scientific, has something new here to encounter in the description:  ‘the end-product of human evolution.’ Does the Evolutionist digest it, or gets dizzy when he does? It is an open question.

Naturally we become curious, and ask: ‘how and when this state occurred?’

And he answers: ‘when all my inherited tradition of history and culture, and all the instruments and institutions that these had fostered broke down in my life.’  And after that he says: ‘l have no biography.’

U G describes it as a strange ‘happening.’ ‘Every cell in my body exploded.  Biological and chemical changes took place. A strange awareness came about. What had hitherto been an unnatural  life, mistakenly taken for the natural, came to a close. That is the happening of the real Natural State.‘  Of this UG calls a ‘calamity.’ For him the term ‘realisation’ is like a worn out coin, much used and disfigured. He does not use it.

What the jnanin, the yogin, the tapasvin craves for, but fails to get, is that Primordial State, which UG calls the ‘Natural State.‘ How can we understand him who is in that State?  Does he help us‘? He says, 'no'! But we hear him saying. ‘it is unique, peerless, deathless and birthless.  It is no effect, has no cause. That is no bondage, nor even freedom.  It is a divisionless awareness, a witnesshood.'

Again, you ask him, for you are enchanted: ‘how to know it, how to be it‘? UG repeats: ‘I do not know myself, I cannot teach. It is a state of not-knowing. To know, and to make one know I have no means with me!' Is it helplessness, or is it the uniqueness of the ‘state’, which does not admit of communication'?

If one who is in that ‘state’ were to say what is said, does it not strike us queer or crazy? No, for that is the very logic of it, as the Upanishad says:

‘How to know that, by which everything is known? How to know the Knower?’

( Reproduced from the Article published by Manasa Gangotri on 20-03-1978 by Dr. KB Ramakrishna Rao. 

Dr. Rao hosted UG regularly in Mysore in the late '70s and also was instrumental in introducing UG to many a friend in Mysore and Bangalore. 

Article Courtesy: Dr. Narayana Moorty, Montery, California)